worrying too soon

"It's not time to worry yet,"just the other day I said to my roommate who was freaking out because she thought she lost her planner. Umm, wow, I am such a black pot. 

But I just had an emotional breakthrough I wrote in my journal that I had to share just to make it real. A list of things I've spent energy in my brain worrying about in just the last four days that either didn't come true or I am yet to know if they will come true:

Being late for yoga, never going to yoga again after moving, getting kicked off Metro-North for not buying ticket, packing, hating Astoria, missing Williamsburg, being alone forever, adopting a Chinese baby that has emotional problems, having to make another trip to doctor's office, having my Mad Men story killed, hurting my back because I bought too soft a mattress, not having a career, my hand surgery resulting in nerve damage, not being able to handle planning D.C. rally, my frequent flier miles expiring, a friend being mad at me,  having swine flu.

Just to reiterate, none of these have happened. At least not yet. And most of these I can control the outcome of. And many of the ones I can't matter very little in the scheme of anything.

Goal: Worry after the fact, not before.

Thanks for  sharing in my emotional breakthrough!

goodnight!

diana

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

I'm moving to Astoria in October. The top reason I'm leaving is because I'm living with Sara, one of my best friends in the world who I've known forever. And everyone loves Astoria. And I'm saving literally thousands of dollars on rent. But I'm getting a little anxiety, because, why am I leaving Williamsburg?

I'm leaving for really practical reasons. My rent's expensive, even with the landlord lowering it. I know what a pain it will be to find someone to rent the small room. And if I were to move within in the neighborhood, I'd still have to move and would live with strangers.

And it's also good to have change, especially since I've been restless with my life.

And everyone hates on Williamsburg, but I think I really love it. Today I had a few, 'aww, i'm going to miss it here' moments.

1) I went and read a book by the water, and then ran into Alex and Cameran just out of the blue and chatted with them for half hour. I only know like 3 people to run into in Astoria.

2) emily called me as I was attempting to clean my room (ha) to say she was at The Gutter, so I met her and my friends there for an impromtu bowl, whcih was of course very fun. In Astoria people will only call me if they go to the beer garden.

3) ok, this is really the thing that got me. I went to Jesus MiniMart, where I go basically every day for something, and I asked the guy behind the counter (who used to work the morning shift and makes the best coffee) if he had any boxes I could have, since I wanted to attempt to start packing. He asked if I was moving, and when I said yes he said "All the good people move away."

I don't know what I've done to be one of the good people, but I was quite touched. I should have told him I still have three weeks. I'll say goodbye before I leave.  Though I don't know any of their names, and they only know mine if they remember from my credit card.

We're also moving offices. So I'm going to have to say goodbye to the people at S'Nice too. 

I obviously can't handle change as much as I thought. If I ever leave New York I will probably cry.

p.s. I have jury duty tomorrow. If I can I will blog about it after!