Update!

I am no longer voiceless! And I'm feeling better. This is a major relief. I pride myself on never being sick (as does my brother, who said of himself, "I'm immune to everything") so being sick shakes my sense of self. It also sucks.

Supposedly it takes 6 years to be a New Yorker, but I think spending 18 years in the suburbs has to count for something. Because I definitely feel like I'm a New Yorker now. When I graduated college, 7 of us from high school were in NY or in Ossining, and we had a book club. Now all but 3 of us left: Others are in Colorado, Japan, Toronto, New Orleans. And I was talking to Laurel (one of the ones who's still here) and I was saying how I don't feel sad like, 'oh, I haven't done anything else.' I feel proud of myself that I've built myself a life here.

Like, even if I leave, and I want to just to experience something else, I can't see not coming back. Yiran (who sometimes reads this, so, hi!) is moving to NY and was asking me apartment-seeking advice, and I felt knowledgeable, like, oh, this is my city. I'm also kind of an outer-borough, I guess "snob" is an oxymoron. But after living in BK and now Astoria, other than convenience (which is a real plus) I don't really understand why someone would live in Manhattan unless they had money for a tree-lined brownstone in the West Village (my ultimate goal, I think).

Also, I just realized I need to start writing the names down of all the restaurants I go to. I never remember what restaurant is what. I can remember stories from when I am 4 years old, but I can't remember where I should eat in the West Village, or where I went to brunch in Astoria, etc. This is obviously very important.

silence

eeek, I lost my voice. I can't even talk. I went from sick Saturday, to meh Sunday to Monday, to Macy Gray to Harvey Fierstein to almost mute. It's really scary, because if you know me, I'm a talker. My phone interviews during the day got progressively more awkward. Finally I stopped talking and answering my phone. People in my office started talking about the Fugees and Lauren Hill and I wanted to join in but couldn't. So painful, since I want to be a part of every conversation. Also painful was that I didn't talk for two hours and no one seemed to notice. How long would I have to not talk for anyone to tell. A metaphor for something

I am blogging because I feel the need to communicate. Also gchatting. Thank god for the internet. Seriously. Oh, but otherwise things are good :)