Freshman in life
I'm posting on a Saturday night, so my friendly stalker can know that staying in a weekend night is nothing to be ashamed of, though I usually totally am embarassed like I couldn't handle making plans 2 nights a week, buuuut I'm not embarassed tonight since I think I'm starting to get to a point in my life where I'm fairly secure in the fact that I'm not a loser so if I stay in some nights it's not because I COULDN'T make a few calls and have a life, it's because I don't really want to. Also, I'm just happy to be home recovering from our house-warming party yesterday.
The party was pretty great, despite the fact that the apartment was not-quite housewarming ready, like that we didn't have a wine-opener so we now have 6 bottles of wine guests brought in the fridge.About 30 people crammed into our apartment. It was so great hearing from people I care about "Your apartment's so nice!" "Your roommate's so cool!" "You're so lucky to live in this neighborhood!" "Your apartment's huge!" (a comment that would never describe the apt if it were anywhere other that nyc)to help me validate my life choices. And it was also fun seeing childhood friends mingle with high school friends mingle with college friends mingle with work friends.And although a few of us went to a bar afterwards, it was so nice having a legit party, reminiscent of those old college days, where you can just hang out and drink without paying a cover.
And, dare I say it, I'm just really happy right now and excited about this next stage of my life. It just hit me today, as I was on the bus back from a hangover brunch and Apples to Apples with Sara and her WashU friends who live in Greenpoint, that my social network is only going to expand, and I feel like with all the friends and friends of friends it can happen organically. It's not like before where I was limited essentially to the people in my tiny network. Now ALL OF NYC can be my social network (or at least anyone that lives within walking distance of the L or JMZ subway lines).
And that goes for dating too. Even though I've always wanted a relation, I've kind of never truly believed I would have a girlfriend and it's been (and still is) a legit fear that I'll never experience love or a real relationship or any of the things that are supposedly really amazing/painful/80% of pop culture. And while it will take some serious effort on my part to get over my awkwardness/insecurities and be confident, flirty, etc., today it kind of dawned on me for I think really the first time that dating is something that I can do, and that I really want to do and something that I'll need to make a priority in my life, and that being alone has in some ways been a choice because I haven't really "put myself out there" as they say.
So yeah, on that note of opening up my soul to all the blog's readers, I don't want to jinx it, but I'll just sayI'm just optimistic about the future but now I'm going to bed.
The party was pretty great, despite the fact that the apartment was not-quite housewarming ready, like that we didn't have a wine-opener so we now have 6 bottles of wine guests brought in the fridge.About 30 people crammed into our apartment. It was so great hearing from people I care about "Your apartment's so nice!" "Your roommate's so cool!" "You're so lucky to live in this neighborhood!" "Your apartment's huge!" (a comment that would never describe the apt if it were anywhere other that nyc)to help me validate my life choices. And it was also fun seeing childhood friends mingle with high school friends mingle with college friends mingle with work friends.And although a few of us went to a bar afterwards, it was so nice having a legit party, reminiscent of those old college days, where you can just hang out and drink without paying a cover.
And, dare I say it, I'm just really happy right now and excited about this next stage of my life. It just hit me today, as I was on the bus back from a hangover brunch and Apples to Apples with Sara and her WashU friends who live in Greenpoint, that my social network is only going to expand, and I feel like with all the friends and friends of friends it can happen organically. It's not like before where I was limited essentially to the people in my tiny network. Now ALL OF NYC can be my social network (or at least anyone that lives within walking distance of the L or JMZ subway lines).
And that goes for dating too. Even though I've always wanted a relation, I've kind of never truly believed I would have a girlfriend and it's been (and still is) a legit fear that I'll never experience love or a real relationship or any of the things that are supposedly really amazing/painful/80% of pop culture. And while it will take some serious effort on my part to get over my awkwardness/insecurities and be confident, flirty, etc., today it kind of dawned on me for I think really the first time that dating is something that I can do, and that I really want to do and something that I'll need to make a priority in my life, and that being alone has in some ways been a choice because I haven't really "put myself out there" as they say.
So yeah, on that note of opening up my soul to all the blog's readers, I don't want to jinx it, but I'll just sayI'm just optimistic about the future but now I'm going to bed.
Labels: freshman in life, happiness
posted by diana at 3:37 PM
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